Chuck Norris Jokes

  • Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.
  • Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
  • When the boogeyman goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
  • Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
  • Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
  • Chuck Norris doesn’t consider it sex if the woman survives.
  • Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
  • If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, what beats all 3 at the same time? Answer: Chuck Norris.
  • Chuck Norris does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will simply change the actual spelling of it.
  • When Chuck Norris jumps in a pool he dosen’t get wet water gets Chuck Norris.
  • Most people put their pants on one leg at a time, Chuck Norris does both legs at once.
  • If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
  • Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
  • Chuck Norris isn’t lactose intolerant. He just doesn’t put up with lactose’s shit.
  • Helen Keller’s favorite color is Chuck Norris
  • Bullets dodge Chuck Norris.
  • This entry was posted on Friday, February 22nd, 2008 at 6:58 am and is filed under Jokes. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.

    2 Responses to “Chuck Norris Jokes”

    agu June 17th, 2008 at 5:38 pm

    Chuck Norris is the reason that Waldo is hiding

    jake June 20th, 2008 at 10:37 am

    chuck norris is so tough he dosnt take steriods ,steriods take chuck norris

    Leave a Reply